burnout had me not even knowing what I enjoyed


Hello, dear ones -

The tricky thing about burnout is it can work a lot like the frog in the slowly boiling water - it’s the result of so many seemingly inconsequential calibrations away from aliveness that we don’t notice we’re cooked until too late.

(And then we usually feel like we need to burn our lives down and start over… only we don’t manage to change the root causes of the burnout - in part because many of them are cultural, not personal - so we just keep cycling through the same patterns again and again until we begin to worry we might be broken).

A little guidance-through-story time:

While there was a deeper call to pilgrimage underlying my trip to Scotland and Ireland last Fall, there was also a certain amount of “burn it down, start over” energy present, too.

After years of trying to play the game by rules which never seemed to work for me (even after I thought I’d stopped playing the game, and no matter how much I tried to “fix” or “heal” myself), I was deeply depleted and ready for the next round of throwing up my hands, stopping trying too damn hard, and letting myself be me… whoever that was.

To do that, first I had to create some space. Then, within that space, I got to ask myself about my needs, wants, desires, pleasures. I would ask myself: "what would bring me joy and pleasure today?"

At first, I didn’t know the answer. So I would go for a hike and, when panting up miles of stairs hacked into the stone side of a mountain (seems like the concept of “switchbacks” somehow never made it to Scotland), I would track my nervous system and pay attention to when I was smiling, expansive, challenged-but-okay, and challenged-beyond-ok. I played with consciously recognizing where I was in my own capacity and training myself to recognize warning signs before I ran out - all based on my own calibrations, not what others needed from me or what I thought my capacity should be.

Through miles of musings, I came to see that pleasure and joy, much like love, are easily misunderstood words. They carry a lot of baggage and most of us can't recognize them when they’re present. We’ve made them into fragile things and imagine they exist only in the absence of hardship, challenge, and other more common daily experiences. As feeling-states, they've become too nebulous for most of us to use them as a solid guide for moving out of burnout.

Then, one morning, I woke up and thought to myself: "wow! I feel so ALIVE!" and that started being mirrored back to me by others in my life who all, without me saying anything, used that same word to describe me: alive.

Turns out, what I was actually tracking on those mountains, went deeper than my culturally-conditioned ideas of pleasure and joy - it was my own aliveness. And my burnout recovery happened through prioritizing the right rhythm and balance of that aliveness.

Two inquiries for you:

So while you may not be able to drop most things and head off on a pilgrimage right now, you can start with these questions and see where they get you:

  • what’s one, small, easy way I can create a tiny bit more space internally or externally?
  • and then; what’s one, simple thing I can do with that space that would have me feel at least a teensy bit alive?

Let me know how it goes - I’d love to hear.

And an invitation:

If you want to ask a question about any of this or be in conversation more around this subject, consider coming to Wisdom Wednesday - a new offer, it’ll take place most first Wednesdays of the month. It’s a 90min ‘office hours’-style gathering on Zoom where you bring your questions and I offer the best wisdom I (and the guides I channel) have for you. It’s Pay-What-You-Can and questions are answered first come, first served.

I started it because I often get questions from folks interested in my perspective on: a tarot card reading they did for themselves; a pattern that’s come up in their life that they can’t see clearly; a slight sense that something’s off in their energy fields; their general purpose, direction, next steps; and more.

Plus, it's not uncommon that in 1:1 sessions with clients, in addition to personal coaching, I end up offering some wider collective and cultural context for what they’re experiencing which they report as feeling really helpful and grounding.

So it’s a perfect place to come if you:

  • are newer to me and want to check it out before committing deeper;
  • have worked with me before or for a while and want a place connect in and get some extra guidance;
  • or don’t have a question but are feeling a little isolated and suspect being with us would leave you feeling less alone and might bring you to an aha you didn’t know you needed.

It might also be the perfect place to invite friends, if you’ve been trying to tell them about me.

Keep in mind:

Since I can’t guarantee you’ll get to ask your question, you might prefer a 1:1 to ensure you feel seen and heard. Wisdom Wednesday will also be recorded and possibly shared, so for a completely personal experience or questions which feel too vulnerable to be shared in public, you might also prefer a 1:1.

For a more complete description of what this is, who it might be for, and what you can expect, head to: https://www.wildsacredjourney.com/wisdom-wednesdays

Our first one is coming up on August 7th - shortly after Lammas/ Lughnasadh and in the middle of the Lion’s Gate Portal opening - a pretty potent time of transitions and shifts.

I’d love to see you there.

Kate

P.S. I recently posted a video asking these questions on social media and YouTube, and I'd love to hear from you:

What does 'Love' mean to you?

What's something you thought it was (based on family, tv, songs, etc) that you've come to see as false?

And what's something about it that feels really true?

No right or wrong answers - just a curiosity into your experience and perspective.

If you have questions for me, I hope to see you next week at Wisdom Wednesday!

2923 Pine Spring Rd, Falls Church, VA 22042
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Hi! I'm Kate - an intuitive, medicine woman, and guide for embodied Presence

Are you a compassion warrior, culture worker, and rebel who cares deeply about humanity; who's tired of doing all the “right things” and still getting what you’re trying to avoid; and who feels trapped between burning it all down or dying but would rather be wildly, and sacredly alive? I'm an animist and ancestral wisdom guide; ceremonialist, and empath. And I love guiding other humans who want to use their burnout and purpose anxiety as a jumping-off point to journey into their shadows and the shadows of modern society in order to de-armor their hearts; remember a deeper, wilder sense of belonging to the world; and reclaim the rich and sacred spark of their aliveness. This newsletter contains wisdom nuggets, podcast episodes, and invitations to paid and free offerings from my business. All in support of remembering a more animist and land-based culture; holding firm to our humanity in a dehumanizing world; and living with compassion, vulnerability, and reverence.

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